All I see is mistakes
This is a work in progress that I am doing for a diorama for me and my misses. And well… All I see is mistakes. And not just on this. On every single model I do.
All I see is mistakes
Why am I telling you this? Maybe you’re a better painter than me, but if you’re a worse painter than me your probably thinking. Well EXPLETIVE DELETED* if all he sees is mistakes, then what the hell is my stuff?
But that’s not it. When I look at other people’s work I see the effort and drive they have put into their work. I see how hard people work at things. But for me…
All I see is mistakes…
Unless you’re an internet super sleuth, keyboard warrior or whatever the term is for “Online disinhibition effect” these days you probably don’t see anything wrong with this.
I do.
All I see is mistakes
How grainy the paint is, how amateurish the lightning effect is on the sword, the ‘melted’ face, how the birds turned out stark white instead of the gradient I was looking for, the filigree is childish, the highlights are clownish and the tide marks are apparent to all but the medically blind as well as deaf.
And don’t get me started on the scrollwork.
All I see is mistakes
What kind of miserable no talent hack would put this up as a work to be admired?
At this point in time you may be thinking holy heck what happened dude? I know you were taking a break but damn, Allah, Vishnu, Jesus, Buddha, Odin someone give this guy a break.
I do a bit of a comic break here but I am serious.
All I see is mistakes.
At least in my own work. Why is this?
To a degree, it’s a phenomenon known as Imposter Syndrome, but its also because of something else. The Dunning–Kruger effect, also known as why stupid people don’t know why they are stupid.
I feel like a lot of the time I am the valley of despair because you know… art is a deep topic. When I say deep… I brought up Vincent Van Gogh’s The Potato Eaters to a client to make a point about basing and realism and how you want verisimilitude not reality.
If I lost you it’s because that is about how people are drinking coffee and eating potatoes at the same time but in reality, you would never have coffee at the same time you ate potatoes. These two acts were put together to show the average life of a peasant.
The average person may look at that and think well I would say that shows a pretty deep knowledge of art and it sounds a lot like a humble brag…
but see the thing is…
All I know is that I know nothing.
Ipse se nihil scire id unum scia
The reason I feel this way is because of upward comparisons…
You think I paint well, well take a look at this.
That is done by Natalia Oracz and this is one of her earlier pieces… she has only gotten better. Yes, that is a painted tear on the model. She isn’t the only person I look at I look at some others but some I know personally from when I ran my YouTube channel WAYPN (what are you painting now?) like actual big-name painters.
This is a bad habit and its something I try and avoid but it’s known as Upward Comparison and basically, it’s something you shouldn’t do or at least all the time.
But it contributes to the mentality of having which is…
All I see is mistakes.
Infact, saying all I see is mistakes in fact a mistake, written it should be ‘all I see are mistakes’ but I write as I speak and as spoken it would be ‘All *I* see is, mistakes’
However, I know that if you read that you already know that I don’t have to break it down bit by bit and I know that you probably look at my artwork and think…
And that’s what I do to mitigate my feelings. I show people my work. And most of the time…
They are amazed.
Why? Why are they amazed when all I can see is mistakes?
I will tell you why. They are comparing themselves to my level or more likely than not… they are comparing my work to just the sea of grey they see all the time. They like my models because I can help them envision what they want to see and make it happen for them.
Listen.
You’re not the only one who feels like an imposter, you’re not the only one who is at the bottom of the valley of despair and you’re not the only person who has the bad habit of upward comparison.
Now I have something hard to ask you.
What are you doing to mitigate your bad habits? What are you doing to fix them? Because, me? I am putting out this article to all of the world to show how I feel some, may be a lot of the time. To try to fix my bad habits so…
Help yourself out and don’t give yourself excuses for your bad habits know them and try and mitigate them.
Until next time friends…
Keep those brushes wet